oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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