to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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