Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize