He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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