I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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