I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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