I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
