I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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