maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
