I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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