Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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