Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
