It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
