while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
