ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
