paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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