She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
