it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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