Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
