you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
