If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
