Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
