Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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