Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize