Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
