Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize