Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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