I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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