to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
