I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
