At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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