4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
