love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
