So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
