Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can you bring me the toilet please
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
