guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
