i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
