I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
