how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
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I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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