mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
