You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
