She said her name was "party"
He kissed a someone with a penis
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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