i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
