I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
