I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize