I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's intense
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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