I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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