So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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