Swine flu. Run for my life!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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