I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's always time for handjobs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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