i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
