so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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