I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
