He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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