your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
