Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
