one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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