the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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