wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
